i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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