fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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