My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Acid is not a monday night drug
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
