belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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