White coat. Heels.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
