just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
