And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
