; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
