She's JV to your varsity
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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