Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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