I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
