You're my little dorito
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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