come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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