Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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