giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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