summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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