I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
