i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
