"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
