did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
