true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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