I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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