He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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