so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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