Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
