did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize