im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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