are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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