Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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