im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
