There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There's always time for handjobs
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
