i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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