Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
