that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
