She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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