wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We are all done wearing pants today
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize