worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
