I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize