ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
