dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
