he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
