I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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