I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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