**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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