Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
