I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
