problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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