Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize