i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Shame is for Republicans.
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