I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
