It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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