I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize