im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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