i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
