That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
