Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Watching her eat just hurts me
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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