He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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