So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
