Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.

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(419): View more from Ohio

this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

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(708): View more from Illinois

I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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(206): View more from Washington

No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?

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(719): View more from Colorado

Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed

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