when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
